A Colorful Conversation with Sarajane Case of Enneagram and Coffee
Using the Enneagram to Navigate the Wedding Planning Process and Plan an Amazing Wedding
Did you know that prior to starting Enneagram and Coffee, Sarajane Case was a wedding and boudoir photographer? Long fascinated by people, she used her camera to get to know and showcase people’s unique personalities. Eventually, she realized that she cared more about making meaningful connections with people than actually taking photos.
When Sarajane discovered the Enneagram test, she immediately saw how understanding personality types could help couples, their families, and their friends with the challenges that arise when planning a wedding.
In this interview, Leah and Sarajane talk about what the Enneagram is and how knowing your type can influence how you experience the wedding planning process and how different personalities influence how people respond to different situations.
The Power of Knowing Your Enneagram Type
The Enneagram is a personality test that breaks down personalities into 9 types and explains how different personalities are motivated to respond differently to similar situations. According to Sarajane, the IEQ9 is the most accurate test for determining your type.
Sarajane explains that during the wedding planning process it’s typical to encounter competing fears and desires from the various people involved. This can cause challenges and force painful compromises or result in expectations not being met.
She believes that by understanding the nine personality types of the Enneagram that couples may be able to more deeply understand differing points of view and manage expectations more effectively. For example, you may get clarity for why your partner reacts so strongly or retreats from conflict or even places so much emphasis on the design or a single detail.
The Enneagram & Your Wedding Planning Journey
When you’re in the throes of competing visions and desires from your partner, family, and friends, planning a wedding can start to feel not-so-fun and completely stressful and overwhelming.
Sarajane explains that knowing yours and others’ Enneagram number can go far in explaining other people’s reactions to anything from how people handle stress, to decision-making tactics and patterns, to dealing with finances.
Navigating Stressful Situations Based on Type
Stress and wedding planning often go hand in hand. After all, you’re faced with making a lot of decisions and often spending a good deal of money within a tight timeframe.
Let’s be real - not everything is going to go smoothly. But how each type handles stress can be vastly different.
For example, a 2, who is normally kind, generous, and helpful, can become blunt, direct, and angry when stressed out. Or an easy-going 7 may become rigid and dogmatic. It’s easy to think wedding planning is making these people go a little bananas.
Regardless of your Enneagram type, Sarajane offers this advice to help combat wedding planning stress: “Be sure to take time each day to not talk about your wedding and focus solely on the present.”
Gaining a Better Understanding of Yourself and Others
Ultimately, understanding Enneagram types allows us to create crucial space for understanding why people may behave the way they do and the common motivating factors for each type. This can lead to more patience and increased understanding from all parties involved in the wedding planning process.
Beyond the Enneagram Type: Embracing Body Positivity
Enneagram isn’t the only thing Sarajane is passionate about. She’s also a strong advocate for body positivity and has had a personal journey with body positivity..
She began to overcome her own insecurities about her own body in small increments, using acceptance, love, and then total neutrality to adopt healthier attitudes about her body.
She realized that if she took the good and bad out of what “body image” is supposed to be, then she could “get cozy with what’s real.” We love that!
Here are four pieces of advice she offers to those who are struggling with their body image, especially during the wedding planning process:
Spend more time by yourself, naked. We often avoid looking in the mirror when we’re not wearing clothes.
Move your body while looking at it in the mirror. Get used to seeing it shake. Everybody’s arms jiggle when they shake; you just have to get comfortable with that.
Pick day-of attire that is immediately comfortable when you try it on. You shouldn’t have to change your body to fit into what you plan to wear. Don’t add another stress or goal to your wedding. Besides, we are more stressed when we are hungry anyway.
Unfollow anyone who makes you feel terrible on social media.
Final Thoughts
As if Sarajane was not already delivering amazing advice, she also reminds us to be brave.
In the wedding planning process, you need to remember your top 3 priorities and not compromise on them. “You have the full permission to live the life you envisioned with ownership to choose things that serve you and release the things that don’t. Choose small things every day that make life worth living.”
Mentioned in this interview
Where to find Sarajane
Enneagram and Coffee Instagram
Sarajane's Permission to Be Human Instagram